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Book Reviews
Review by Linda M. Olsen, M.Ed. Ezra, in his early teens at the writing of this book, was diagnosed with autism at the age of three. Tom Fields writes about his journey with his middle son. At a preschool conference, Ezra’s teacher describes him as a very loving child. However, she continues, “he is also inflexible, spacey, and hard to connect with”. Tom and his wife were not totally surprised by these comments because they had been noticing some of the same things at home. They met a number of times with a family therapist, Ruth, who was recommended by the pre-school. The pre-school therapist suggested Ezra’s different behavior was not Tom’s and his wife’s fault. Rather, it was due to Ezra’s “wiring”. Ruth told the author and his wife to “grieve for the child he didn’t turn out to be”. Her words turned out to be a gift to Tom. Upon hearing these words, Tom said, he would never mourn for his son. Instead, he would support, guide, pour love on him, and celebrate who he is. One example of this is when Ezra started conversing around the age of 7. He would say whatever was on his mind. One time when his dad took him to the dentist who happened to have a beard, Ezra greeted him with, “do you ever shave?” On another occasion, he asked a neighbor whom he did not know why he was so fat. Tom worked very hard with Ezra to teach him that saying these kinds of things to people was not appropriate or acceptable. Ezra’s dad told him that one does not talk about other people’s bodies. One day when Ezra was telling his dad about Matthew, the boy he was playing a board game with in school that day, Tom responded, “Matthew, that’s the really tall kid, right”? Ezra responded, “you talked about his body”! At that moment Tom knew his hard work with Ezra in this area was reaping benefits. Another example is when the congregation greets Ezra with applause and cheers on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah which he successfully celebrated! This book is filled with the many, examples and stories of how the author has loved and celebrated his son’s gifts over the years, and how his love for Ezra has fostered joy, and growth for Ezra and their entire family. Because of this, I believe this short and easy to read book is a must read for any parent of a special needs child. |
Review by Linda M. Olsen, M. Ed. The author, Deborah Lipsky, was diagnosed with Asperger’s in 2005 at the age of 44. She is married to a non-autistic man and has a Master’s degree in education and counseling. Almost everyone experiences anxiety to one degree or other at one time or another. However, the author writes that anxiety is a natural state for people with autism because it is part of their neuro-logical makeup. Lipsky describes situations that foster anxiety in herself and others with autism. Firstly, “sensory overload” in all areas; taste, touch, sound and sight. She gives examples of things that have affected her over the years. Another situation that fosters anxiety is lack of predictability and scheduling. She believes “scripting” is the golden rule in autism. “We need every second of every minute of every hour scripted.” She is adamant when she writes that scripting helps to bring a sense of calm and safety to all persons with autism. A third anxiety producing issue is “sensory integration” or the ability to process auditory and visual input simultaneously. An example would be asking a person to look at you while you are talking to them. Fourthly, a more-developed peripheral vision instead of central vision. As a consequence, when someone gets real close to you to communicate you might think it is because of his/her lack of boundary issues. However, the author writes it is more likely this is because of a less-developed central vision rather than peripheral vision. |
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