How I Live My Life
Lessons in Love

Today, 1.5 million Americans and their families are affected by autism.   A person who has influenced me a great deal in my life is my 15-year old brother Andrew who was diagnosed Autistic at age three. Having a sibling who is autistic has allowed me to develop a greater respect for honesty and integrity for myself and others.  Andrew’s disability has provided me invaluable amount of understanding and knowledge in defining what I consider to be really important qualities and behaviors on how I live my life.

Andrew is a terrific brother.  He has a few distinct personality traits that really stand out.  Andrew is always honest and speaks exactly what is on his mind.  Sometimes this worries me, because I’m not sure what he might express at any given time.  Andrew has definitely made an impression on my friends, because they always tell me that he expresses exactly what everyone is thinking, but my friends are too afraid to actually say it.  Observing Andrew’s honesty and straightforward communication has made me realize that it is all right to be honest in communicating with my parents, co-workers, friends, teachers, and coaches.  I have learned that by being straightforward, I can talk about things that are bothering me, resolve problems, and make sure my contributions are heard.

Another indirect influence my brother Andrew had on me is the ability to understand that everyone has issues, no person is perfect, and that there is no reason to ever feel superior to someone else.   Often I have heard and witnessed my peers making demeaning comments about less fortunate people.  I feel badly that they are not mature enough to understand and I try to explain what I know, because of my brother’s autism.  Andrew has taught me to be a kinder and more considerate person and friend towards all people, but especially those with a wide range of challenges and disabilities.

In the summer of 2005 and 2006,  I volunteered at Camp Arrowhead in Natick, Massachusetts.  The camp is for handicapped and special needs children.

Volunteering expanded my knowledge beyond Andrew’s autism, given that there are numerous physical and verbal handicaps that affect so many children and families each day.   This positive experience gave me an opportunity to use my athletic skills to engage my assigned camper in physical games when they could participate.  My interpersonal skills and compassionate attitude allowed me to reach out as a friend and mentor, and make certain that my camper was having summer fun and memories that they will remember forever.

As I begin preparing to move from high school to college, I consider myself very fortunate to have learned so much about life by living with my brother, who faces challenges that most of us don’t.  Although I would do anything to see my brother live a life without autism, I would not change anything about him.   Andrew has influenced my life in so many ways. Watching him handle everyday challenges with such determination has taught me how to handle many different situations.  I love being Andrew’s older brother and this inspires me to continue to strive for the best for both of us.

James A. Clover, III
Age 17
Senior in High School